On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
