the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
