some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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