The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
