you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
