i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
