all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
