Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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