I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
