taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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