I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's Friday. Sex?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
