Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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