They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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