I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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