Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
