I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
