operation have a gay friend backfired
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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