oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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