Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
