Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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