Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize