super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
