i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
