I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
