Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
