did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Randomize
