my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
