He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
