But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he fucked my hip out of place.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
