She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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