Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
