i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
