My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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