Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I smell stomach acid.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
