Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
