Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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