Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Are we still banned from the library?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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