You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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