omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
