Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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