Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize