garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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