She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
