marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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