TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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