oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
