She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
