Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
