Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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