Swine flu. Run for my life!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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