yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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