We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
