You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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