I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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