As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
