how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
