I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
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