Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
