lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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