You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
