And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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