Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
