Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
