What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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