Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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