Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
