you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
