my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
